So you’re not crazy about cleaning your gutters. Maybe you hate the idea of getting up on a ladder. Perhaps you despise the feel of slimy, dirt mud and debris on your hands as you scoop it out. Or it could be that you loathe giving up even a few hours of your weekend in order to perform this necessary homeowner chore.
Yep. That’s the “I hate gutter cleaning” face.
Fear not! There are ways that you can avoid gutter cleaning altogether. Here are ten different methods arranged in order from most to least practical.
1. Invest in a gutter guard system (like Gutter Helmet®) for your home. Then you’ll never need to clean your gutters again.
2. Hire a professional to do it for you. There are plenty of contractors and handymen who will perform this bothersome task for you.
3. Contact some environmentally-friendly members of your community. Tell them that they can have all of the nutrient-rich leaves and debris that they want for their compost bins. All they have to do is come and take it from your gutters.
4. Replace your gutters. Then you don’t have to worry about cleaning the old guttering before installing the new material. Of course, this option may get expensive if you do this every year.
5. Bribe a teenager to do it for you. Teens are always looking for ways to earn extra money. Whether you decide to stiff the kid after the job is done is completely up to you.
See? Look how eager he is to help out!
6. Make a bet with a friend with the loser having to clean the gutters on the winner’s home. Just make sure you win the bet — otherwise, this method doesn’t work as well.
7. Find a volunteer group who is willing to help out an elderly person by cleaning out his or her gutters. If an elderly person does not live in your home, dress up like one when the volunteers arrive. Or rent a senior citizen for a day — either way.
8. Manipulate your spouse into doing it for you. Work certain phrases into conversations, such as, “No, you’re too old to clean the gutters” or “You really hurt my feelings — but I’ll feel better when you clean the gutters.” Hey, what is marriage for?
9. Gather a bunch of young children and tell them that there’s a secret pirate treasure hidden somewhere in your gutters. After you boost all of them up onto the roof, they’ll spend all day removing the debris to search for the booty. (You could even toss a quarter into the gutters when they aren’t looking to sell the idea better. Or not.)
10. Enter your home in a “Worst Home Foundation” contest. Then you can justify the falling water splashing near your foundation every time it rains. Be sure to take high-quality photos of all of the cracks and buckles in your foundation after every rainfall.
11. Wait until a few different types of animals begin nesting in all of the debris inside your gutters – and then open a zoo and charge admission. Isn’t America great?
12. Set your house on fire. It’s guaranteed that you won’t be worrying about dirty gutters anytime soon.
Problem solved!
