When You Don’t Want Your Neighbors Cleaning Their Gutters
Generally, it’s nice that your neighbors take an interest in maintaining their homes; cleaning their siding, getting their gutter free of standing water, maintaining their landscaping, that kind of thing. It keeps up property values, it makes a good impression on visitors and prospective homeowners, and it just looks nice. All of this is true … unless you live next to eighty-year-old Kevin Lavelle.
Lavelle, of the town of Stockport in the U.K., was a conscientious handyman, keeping his house exterior clean and neat. But he forgot one rather important aspect of it: wearing pants. Or a shirt. Or anything else.
Yes, Lavelle did all his outdoor chores completely nude. Why is really known only to him, but he’s not alone: leaving aside the fact that nudists are fairly common, albeit usually in places where we can’t see them, there are events like World Naked Gardening Day (you’ll have to Google it), celebrating frolicking in nature while in your birthday suit.
For most of us, that raises the question of how you deal with burrs, thorns, insects finding new and exciting places in your body to bite, and so on. But hey, to each their own. We’re sure they use lots of insect repellant and step carefully, and hopefully have a lot of very high fences.
Advocates of running around a garden without your pants insist it just feels nice to be outside naked. Whether it’s nice for anybody else who might wander by and see what’s happening is not a question the WNGD organizers have addressed.
So, how did Lavelle’s neighbors react to the sight of their neighbor trimming the roses in the buff? They called the police, who, upon arriving (and promptly looking away), arrested Lavelle.
Lavelle is currently under house arrest and will be on the sex offender register for seven years, which seems a bit much since all he was doing was walking around naked on his own property without a fence. That seems like more of the “stern-talking-to” type of offense. “Sir, please put on some pants. Yes, a tight Speedo will be fine. Well, not fine, but you know what we mean.”
For us, this is a conundrum: would we rather have our neighbors maintain their homes and lawns nude, or not at all?
On the pro side, any maintenance to a home is a good thing: it looks good, it keeps the neighborhood values up, and it gives everyone a sense of pride in where they live.
On the other hand, we can see that sense of pride being immediately negated by the fact that we all know exactly what the neighbors look like, and we’re assuming that’s a terrifying sight. Even if your neighbors are all perfectly chiseled and attractive people, there’s still the fact that you can never hold a dinner party again.
You know what? Here’s the solution: if you want to do your chores nude, sit around your house naked and call a handyman service to do them for you. That way, everyone wins.
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